Writing an admissions essay is one of the most critical parts of your college or university application. It’s your opportunity to showcase your personality, experiences, and aspirations. However, many applicants make avoidable mistakes that can weaken their essays and hurt their chances of standing out. To help you create a compelling and polished personal statement, here are seven common writing mistakes and practical tips to avoid them.
1. Casual Style: Striking the Right Tone
Your admissions essay is not the place for slang, informal language, or unconventional formats like poems or top 10 lists. While creativity is valuable, straying too far from traditional essay structures can make your essay seem unprofessional.
Why It’s a Problem:
Admissions officers are looking for candidates who take the application process seriously. A casual tone or unconventional format can make it seem like you don’t respect the process. Additionally, slang and informal language can distract from your message and make your essay less credible.
How to Fix It:
- Use a formal yet conversational tone, as if you’re speaking directly to an admissions officer.
- Avoid contractions (e.g., use “do not” instead of “don’t”) and slang.
- Stick to traditional essay formatting, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- Read your essay aloud to ensure it sounds natural and professional.
Example:
- Casual: “I’m super passionate about science, and I’ve always been into, like, experimenting and stuff.”
- Professional: “Science has always fascinated me, particularly the process of experimentation and discovery. My high school chemistry project, where I developed a water filtration system, deepened my interest in applying scientific principles to solve real-world problems.”
Pro Tip: If you’re unsure about your tone, ask a teacher or mentor to review your essay and provide feedback.
2. Lack of Evidence: Show, Don’t Tell
One of the most common mistakes is making claims without supporting them. For example, stating “I am a responsible person” doesn’t convince the reader.
Why It’s a Problem:
Without evidence, your essay can feel superficial and insincere. Admissions officers want to see proof of your qualities and achievements. They are looking for concrete examples that demonstrate your skills, character, and potential.
How to Fix It:
- Use specific examples or anecdotes to demonstrate your qualities.
- Describe a situation where you took responsibility, such as leading a team project or resolving a conflict.
- Focus on the impact of your actions and what you learned from the experience.
Example:
- Vague: “I am a responsible person.”
- Specific: “When my team missed a deadline for a school project, I organized extra meetings and delegated tasks to ensure we completed the project on time. This experience taught me the importance of communication and teamwork in achieving goals.”
Pro Tip: Use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to structure your examples. This ensures your anecdotes are clear and impactful.
3. Repeating Information: Share Something New
Your personal statement is an opportunity to share insights not found elsewhere in your application. Avoid rehashing your grades, test scores, or extracurricular activities—the admissions committee already has that information.
Why It’s a Problem:
Repeating information wastes valuable space and misses the chance to showcase your uniqueness. Admissions officers want to learn something new about you that they can’t find in other parts of your application.
How to Fix It:
- Focus on unique experiences, personal growth, or perspectives that highlight what makes you different.
- Discuss challenges you’ve overcome, lessons you’ve learned, or moments that shaped your goals.
- Reflect on how these experiences have prepared you for college and your future career.
Example:
- Repetitive: “I scored highly on my SATs and maintained a 4.0 GPA.”
- Unique: “Volunteering at a local shelter taught me the importance of empathy and inspired me to pursue a career in social work. Seeing the impact of small acts of kindness on individuals’ lives motivated me to advocate for marginalized communities.”
Pro Tip: Review your application materials and identify what’s missing. Use your essay to fill in those gaps and provide a fuller picture of who you are.
4. Unnatural Language: Write Authentically
Using overly complex or obscure words can make your essay sound forced and difficult to read.
Why It’s a Problem:
Admissions officers value clarity and authenticity over flowery prose. Unnatural language can make your essay seem insincere and distract from your message.
How to Fix It:
- Write in a natural voice, using words you’d normally use in conversation.
- Avoid overusing a thesaurus. Focus on clarity and flow.
- Read your essay aloud to ensure it sounds like you.
Example:
- Forced: “My predilection for erudition has perpetually been a cornerstone of my existence.”
- Natural: “I’ve always loved learning and seeking out new knowledge. Whether it’s through books, experiments, or conversations, I’m constantly curious about the world around me.”
Pro Tip: If you’re unsure about a word or phrase, ask yourself, “Would I say this in a conversation?” If the answer is no, simplify it.
5. Vague Statements: Be Specific and Detailed
General statements like “I love learning” or “I’m passionate about helping others” lack impact.
Why It’s a Problem:
Vague statements don’t provide enough detail to make your essay memorable or convincing. Admissions officers want to see specific examples that illustrate your passions and values.
How to Fix It:
- Provide concrete details and examples.
- Explain how a specific class sparked your curiosity or describe a volunteer experience that shaped your perspective.
- Focus on the “why” behind your statements.
Example:
- Vague: “I love helping others.”
- Specific: “Teaching English to refugees through a local nonprofit showed me the power of education to transform lives. One student, a mother of three, shared how learning English helped her secure a job and provide for her family. Her gratitude inspired me to continue advocating for educational equity.”
Pro Tip: Use sensory details (sights, sounds, emotions) to make your examples more vivid and engaging.
6. Ignoring the Prompt: Stay Focused
It’s easy to get carried away and lose sight of the essay prompt.
Why It’s a Problem:
Straying from the prompt can make your essay seem unfocused and irrelevant. Admissions officers want to see that you can follow instructions and address the question directly.
How to Fix It:
- Carefully read and understand the prompt before you start writing.
- Make sure every paragraph ties back to the central question or theme.
- Avoid including information that doesn’t directly relate to the prompt.
Example:
- Off-Topic: Writing about your love for travel when the prompt asks about a challenge you’ve overcome.
- On-Topic: Describing how overcoming a fear of public speaking helped you grow as a leader. “Joining the debate team was one of the most challenging decisions I’ve made. Despite my fear of public speaking, I pushed myself to participate in competitions. Over time, I not only improved my speaking skills but also gained confidence in my ability to lead and inspire others.”
Pro Tip: Create an outline before writing to ensure your essay stays on track.
7. Overlooking Proofreading: Polish Your Work
Grammatical errors, typos, and awkward phrasing can distract from your message and make your essay appear careless.
Why It’s a Problem:
Errors can undermine your credibility and professionalism. Admissions officers may view a poorly proofread essay as a lack of effort or attention to detail.
How to Fix It:
- Proofread your essay multiple times.
- Use tools like Grammarly to catch grammar and spelling mistakes.
- Ask a teacher, mentor, or friend to review it as well.
Example:
- Error: “Their are many reasons I want to attend this university.”
- Corrected: “There are many reasons I want to attend this university, including its strong engineering program and commitment to innovation.”
Pro Tip: Print your essay and read it on paper. This can help you spot errors you might miss on a screen.
Bonus Tips for a Strong Admissions Essay
- Start Early: Give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm, write, and revise.
- Be Honest: Share genuine experiences and emotions rather than what you think the committee wants to hear.
- Stay Concise: Avoid unnecessary words or lengthy explanations.
- Reflect on Your Journey: Highlight personal growth and how your experiences have shaped your goals.
Conclusion
Your admissions essay is a powerful tool to showcase your personality, experiences, and aspirations. By avoiding these common mistakes—casual language, lack of evidence, repetition, unnatural phrasing, vagueness, ignoring the prompt, and poor proofreading—you can create an essay that stands out for all the right reasons. Take the time to refine your work, and remember, the goal is to let your unique voice shine through.
By following these tips, you’ll not only avoid common pitfalls but also create an essay that leaves a lasting impression on the admissions committee. Good luck!