A personal statement is a crucial component of a medical school application. It provides applicants with an opportunity to showcase their skills, experiences, and motivations beyond academic achievements. A well-crafted personal statement can significantly improve an applicant’s fr33chances of receiving an interview invitation. However, many students fail to use this opportunity effectively, leading to weak essays that do not add value to their application.
This article explores personal statement examples, analyzes their effectiveness, and provides essential tips to help applicants write a compelling admissions essay.
Importance of a Personal Statement in Medical School Applications
Medical schools receive thousands of applications every year. While test scores and GPAs are important, they do not fully capture an applicant’s personality, motivation, and suitability for the medical profession. A personal statement helps admissions committees understand:
- Why an applicant wants to become a doctor.
- The experiences that have shaped their passion for medicine.
- Their unique qualities and skills that make them a strong candidate.
A well-written personal statement can set an applicant apart from others with similar academic achievements.
Personal Statement Example #1: An Ineffective Essay
Excerpt:
“I have always wanted to be a doctor. My favorite toy as a child was a doctor’s kit. I remember regularly giving my dolls, pets, and family members ‘check-ups.’ I have never had any other career aspirations other than pursuing medicine. Throughout my academic career, I have chosen classes that will ultimately benefit my aspiration to attend medical school.
I have the talent necessary to be a physician. I have always been a strong student, and I excel in science. I received A’s in all my science classes throughout my entire high-school career. I found Biology to be especially easy for me. I quickly picked up on all the material and easily earned top grades. I was the president of the science club in my senior year of high school. In addition, I was awarded the Science Scholar award for my school due to my strong academic achievement. In my spare time, I volunteered at my local hospital where I was exposed to the daily work of physicians.
My superb high-school grades earned me offers of admission to the top colleges and universities in the country. Ultimately, I chose to attend Prestigious University due to its strong premedical program. Upon enrolling in college, I have continued my strong academic career. I have maintained a 3.7 GPA and continue to receive strong grades in my science courses. The one exception to my otherwise excellent grades was in Biology 204, in which I received a C. In that case, there were extenuating circumstances, and that grade does not represent my academic ability. I developed a bad case of the flu during midterms and did poorly on that exam. That low grade dragged down my average in that course.
I have always wanted to be a doctor. I am an intelligent person who has achieved high grades; therefore, I believe that I would be an excellent physician. My goal is to attend Top Medical University and pursue a career in Neurology because I find the human brain fascinating.”
Analysis of Example #1
This personal statement is ineffective for several reasons:
- Repetitive Theme: The applicant repeatedly states that they “always wanted to be a doctor,” which does not provide meaningful insight into their journey.
- Lack of Depth: The essay lists achievements but does not explain what the applicant learned from their experiences.
- Overemphasis on Grades: Medical schools focus on personal growth and motivation rather than high school grades.
- Mentioning Specific Schools: Naming a preferred medical school can alienate other institutions considering the application.
- Weak Conclusion: The closing statement does not provide compelling reasons why the applicant would be a great medical student.
Personal Statement Example #2: A Strong Essay
Excerpt:
“During the summer of 2012, I had the opportunity to volunteer at Downtown Children’s Hospital. My primary responsibility was assisting the Child Life Specialists in providing entertainment for hospitalized children and distracting them during difficult procedures. During my volunteer time, I had the opportunity to get to know an 8-year-old patient who was undergoing treatment for leukemia. I could tell that she was very afraid of the things that were happening to her. We bonded over a mutual love of coloring books. I would visit her room each day with a new page for us to color together. Gradually, she began to talk to me about her treatment and expressed fearfulness about not knowing what was going to happen. I did my best to empower her with knowledge; I began to ask the medical personnel to explain the procedures and treatments to me so that I could provide the patient with accurate answers to her questions. Over time, I found that I not only wanted to know about the procedures so that I could help the patient, I wanted to know for myself as well. I found the practice of medicine fascinating, and it solidified my desire to become a physician.
Since my time volunteering at Downtown Children’s Hospital, I have remained committed to my desire to become a physician. I was given the opportunity to shadow physicians at Happy Family Practice and had the opportunity to learn about preventive health care. One of my most memorable experiences was counseling an obese patient with hypertension about his health risks. Although he was concerned about his health, he seemed to have little hope that it could improve. After some discussion, I managed to convince him to make a few small changes in his diet. When he returned for his follow-up appointment six weeks later, his weight and blood pressure had improved significantly. Furthermore, he thanked me and said that my encouragement had motivated him to begin exercising again. It felt good to have a positive effect on someone’s health.
I am fascinated by the workings of the human body and its ability to heal. I look forward to attending medical school, where I will learn how to be a champion for my future patients’ health. I am committed to becoming a high-quality physician who will be an asset to my patients and the medical community.”
Why Example #2 Works
- Engaging Narrative: The essay tells a compelling story that keeps the reader interested.
- Demonstrates Growth: The applicant shows how their experiences shaped their passion for medicine.
- Patient-Centered Approach: The essay highlights empathy and patient interaction, which medical schools value.
- Real-World Experience: The applicant demonstrates direct involvement in healthcare settings.
- Strong Conclusion: The essay ends with a clear, confident statement of commitment to medicine.
Tips for Writing a Strong Personal Statement
- Show, Don’t Just Tell: Use real experiences to demonstrate qualities rather than just stating them.
- Avoid Clichés: Saying “I have always wanted to be a doctor” does not provide meaningful insight.
- Highlight Growth and Learning: Reflect on experiences and how they shaped your passion for medicine.
- Keep It Concise and Focused: Avoid unnecessary details and focus on key experiences.
- Edit and Revise: Proofread for grammar, clarity, and coherence.
Conclusion
A personal statement plays a crucial role in medical school applications. By analyzing strong and weak examples, applicants can understand what makes an effective essay. A well-written personal statement that tells a compelling story and highlights relevant experiences can make a lasting impression on admissions committees and increase the chances of securing an interview.
